PrickWear. The guy doesn’t link the original email at all, but I think I’ve seen it or something similar. Anyway, click the link below for more.
I recently received an email from a relative of mine entitled “History Test.” This type of conservative hate-mongering crap makes me sick. After talking to a few friends about it I came to realize that most of the people I knew who had slightly conservative friends, family or co-workers have grown accustomed to receiving mail like this. Well, I am so angry I could shit Mexicans. This email was in protest to profiling laws that prevent our security forces from being able to target specific races in their quest to protect us from anyone different (anyone remember what happened to Japanese Americans during World War II?). This “test” gave 12 examples of terrorist activity that was perpetrated by “Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40”. Yep, ANYTHING in extreme can be bad, and Muslims have definitely done some pretty nasty things. But what if I made a list of heinous acts through modern history performed by right-wing conservative Christians? What if I told you that it would make me feel safer if it were encouraged for security guards to pull someone aside in an airport line because they are wearing a shirt that says, “God is Awesome!”? What if I gave you proof that sometimes Christian extremists do terrible things? I realize I have left many important events out of this quiz, including President Bush’s new Crusade against – wait, who all are we fighting again? This test is meant to illustrate how our enemy can so often look just like us, only holier. Profile these assholes: 1. In June of 1964 three civil rights workers in Mississippi were gunned down and buried in a ditch that had been dug out earlier, specifically to rest their rotting corpses, by a group of a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 (the man most recently tried in this case, Edgar Killen, was 38 and an ordained Baptist minister at the time that he conspired to murder the men) 2. From 1976 to 1983 as many as 30,000 were killed and tortured in Argentina; many of those who disappeared were disemboweled and thrown from airplanes into the ocean; others were killed and buried in mass graves. These atrocities were committed by a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 (during the “Dirty War”. Look it up) 3. Tony Alamo was charged with felony child abuse for his involvement in the beating in 1988 of an 11-year-old boy that was so severe it left him unable to sit for almost three weeks. Alamo was a leader of a religious sect in California, and a a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian extremist between the ages of 17 and 50 (spank them into submission, that always works. Especially for the Christian father that in January of this year beat his son to death trying to “box” with him because he was afraid his son was going to turn out gay) 4. Paul Hill was the first person executed in the US for anti-abortion violence, after he was convicted of the 1994 slayings of Dr. John Britton and his bodyguard. Hill was a a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian extremist between the ages of 17 and 50 (and was also a former Presbyterian minister – double trouble! Thank you so much for helping rid the world of those pesky doctors.) 5. On April 19, 1995 an explosion ripped through the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. It was, up to that point, the worst terrorist attack ever undertaken on American soil. The blast killed 168 people – 19 of them children – and injured hundreds. The two “masterminds” of this attack were a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 (we all remember Mr. McVeigh and Terry Nichols) 6. In 1998 Matthew Shepard was beaten and left for dead by two men. He was found the next day, alive but never regaining consciousness due to his catastrophic brain damage. He had been pistol-whipped 18 times with a revolver. Since being imprisoned, his murderers have both justified their actions by claiming that they were dictated by the Bible. His murderers are shining examples of misguided a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian extremists between the ages of 17 and 40 (in quite possibly my favorite example of Christian hate-mongering, Reverend Fred Phelps and his supporters picketed Shepard’s funeral, displaying signs with slogans such as “Matt Shepard rots in Hell” and “God Hates Fags.”) 7. In January of 1998 a bomb was detonated in a Birmingham, Alabama women’s clinic. The blast killed one and left over a hundred injured. The man found to be responsible for this heinous crime was also found to be responsible for a blast during the 1996 Olympics that killed a woman and injured 100, as well as an attack on a gay nightclub. The bomber, Eric Rudolph was a a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40 (Rudolph wrote a statement during his trial that included frequent quotes from the Bible and condemnations of homosexuality) 8. A group of soldiers responsible for detaining prisoners of war in Abu Ghraib used their authority to force the prisoners to simulate oral sex on each other, eat pork and drink alcohol (in violation of the Muslim faith), as well as beating at least one prisoner with a baton until he begged to be killed. The first soldier to be court marshaled for the situation showed no remorse whatsoever and was often seen smiling as he walked with his lawyer up the steps of the courthouse. This man, Cpl. Graner was a a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian extremist between the ages of 17 and 40 (at his Pennsylvania home, his truck bears a license plate with the word Jesus and a picture of a cross. Even more ironic is the stone in the garden painted with a Bible verse from the book of Hosea “Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love” (10:12)) 9. Proving there are always new ways to shake things up, pharmacists all over the country are now refusing women’s prescriptions for birth control and the morning-after pill. Some of these pharmacists are so adamant about forcing their morality upon others that they hold the prescription hostage and will not transfer it to a doctor willing to fill it. The pharmacists who are imposing restrictions on these women’s reproductive rights claim that their religious views do not allow them to fill such prescriptions. Who the fuck thinks they can do this? a. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 b. Christian extremists between the ages of 17 and 50 (there have reportedly been cases of pharmacists who mistakenly believe that contraception is a form of abortion and refuse to dispense it to anyone, or who will only provide birth-control pills to a woman if she is married. Find a new job asshole!) You know I just can’t even keep doing this. Your moral exhibitionism makes me sick. So I propose that we begin to profile a new group of dangerous people – conservative, right wing, proselytizing Christians with every intention of homogenizing the globe, who don’t know shit about Jesus. Amen brother.]]>