Drunken Pinball

Clean And Sober, then you’ve heard the adage, “it’s always the drunk who survives.” Well tonight, thankfully, there was only one occupant in the three cars involved. Right outside my home. This is the second accident that’s happened on my block this year. I’m so glad I’m parked in the back of my driveway, at least 40 feet off the street. So, here’s the deal: Drunk woman in new model VW Passat takes out late-model American-made sedan parked on the wrong side of the street (ironically) in front of the Bar, then ricochets into the brand-new Toyota Corolla in front of my neighbor’s place one house down. Two weeks ago, said Corolla had paper plates on it. It wasn’t even a month old. The Sedan was hit so hard that it got pushed up onto the sidewalk, past the store (missing the other american-made sedan parked in front of the store), and ended up in the driveway for the parking lot next to the store. The Corolla was hit hard enough to get the rear end pushed up onto the sidewalk. This is where the VW finally stopped. The driver of the VW – a short, slightly overweight gal in her late 20’s to mid 30’s (maybe older? it was dark) was not wearing her seatbelt. Both airbags in the Passat were deployed. Her engine was still on, but obviously not running. Now a bit of background for you – yes it’s a bit of a tangent, but keep this accident in mind. I was helping out a friend of mine with his laptop today. His housemate was with. We made a run to Fry’s for more RAM for said laptop. Said housemate bought the Faces Of Death DVD Boxed Set. He watched it while I was working on the laptop. I saw bits and pieces. Not fun stuff, mind you. I’m really not into that sort of thing, but there’s that morbit curiosity about this infamous movie… With that in mind, nobody saw anybody in the VW, but the doors were still closed. I walked over and took a peek in the driver’s window. There was a body laying on the seat. It was at this point where my stomach lurched. I announced to the gathered crowd that there was somebody still in the car. I walked back to the car and called out, “Hey, are you alright in there?” The occupant groggily looked up at me, her eyes streaked with tears and her mascara running, nodded, mumbled, and laid back over. It was at this point that Mister Policeman and four of his buddies (each in their individual patrol cars) arrived. Officer #1 had an extremely difficult time trying to get this gal to turn off her car and turn off the music. Officer #2 had better luck, but he had to really plead with this chick. Have I mentioned she was wasted drunk? When the third officer walked her to the curb and helped her sit down, she fell over. Yes, still drunk. So, recap: this stupid drunk woman takes out two of my neighbor’s cars in a game of Drunken Pinball and everybody comes to see what happened. Added benefit: I got to meet more of my neighbors. They’re a friendly bunch. Anyway… Now that I’ve calmed down a bit, I’m gonna try and get some sleep. My stomach isn’t lurching as much anymore, but I could easily go puke and fix that problem. So with that, I’m out. Thanks for visiting and Keep Coming Back!!!]]>

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